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i'm officially sophisticated. wow.. second year is fun -- so far. i'm enjoying it, even though it has only been a week. and although there has been several "bad vibes" coming my way, as usual, the good always outnumber the bad. hehe :)

check out Lil Miss Nice for the complete first-week-of-school post. =]


so much for my happy ending

I always listen to My Happy Ending on my iPod. It's not my favorite song, nor is Avril my idol. I don't even fancy watching it's video or catching it on the charts. But when I listen to it through my earphones, I dunno, somehow it "invades" my veins. Haha, ang weird. Basta, it's as if the song suddenly knocks a door in my brain, the start of another LSS. Ang oti.

Why are there people who discourage others to imagine? Why are there people who break other people's dreams? Why are there people who stop others from believing the impossible?

I always make movies and imagine such amazing events inside my head (like Blair :p). I imagine everything just as I want it to be: perfect. But sadly, my visions don't always come to life, and more often than not, the results are far from my mini-movies. They don't even come close to what I imagined, and if ever they do, there's an unexpected twist at the end which would change the whole story. And it happens all the time. Sometimes, I just want to stop imagining these things so that I wouldn't feel disappointed in the end, but I can't help it. And once I start weaving stories inside my head, I can't stop. But they never happen in real life. Where's my happy endings? I don't know, stuck in my head, I guess.

Like fairy tales. To a child, it's a magical story of princes and princesses, of dwarfs and fairies. And as a child grows up, she's supposed to let go of fairy tales but she doesn't move on, instead she holds on to it and believes in it more. To an adult, fairy tales are no longer bedtime stories but visions of what they want to have and be in the future. They want to escape from evil stepmothers and sea witches. They want to have everybody love them. They want their knight in shining armor running to come fetch them and live in the castle happily ever after. But it usually never happens, doesn't it? And you know, people will just hold on to these fantasies until finally they fall and crash. It's gotta hurt. And where's their happy endings? In books and movies, I suppose.

People have so many wishes and dreams, that sometimes even though it's far from reality, they have the tendency to cling onto it and still believe. Even though they know it's impossible, they still have this spark in their eyes and this beat in their hearts that says, "Someday, it will come.. someday.." And what's funny is that you can't stop people from making movies inside their heads. I don't know about you, but I just can't. It's automatic. It makes me feel happy that somehow, there's a perfect scenario waiting to happen, even though it's just in here *points to head*. It's a license to happiness. And I think everybody has the right to that happiness. No one should ever, ever, ever stop someone from staring into space while daydreaming about her love. No one should have the right to ruin someone's happiness when she is making magical movies inside her head even though it's not anywhere near our distant future. No one.

But I guess we daydreamers have to snap out to reality every once in a while and live not actually the best, but the only real movie we've all got -- our life.

"we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.."



help i'm seeing.. squares?!

Argh this is it. School REALLY is about to start. Tuesday is nearing. I can hear the days ticking by. I can smell the crisply ironed uniform in our maid's room. I can see the books neatly stacked up in my room. I can feel the morning air gently sweeping my face (that is because I can wake up to the sound of the alarm clock already! Alright! :p). I can.. not believe it.

I was listening to the Morning Rush yesterday and their Top 1o question was: "Signs That You Are A Desperate Housewife" and there's this one entry that said, "When you do everything just the way he likes it, while wishing for him to come back". Isn't it sad that there are women who have to feel this way? I do not know how painful that must be for them, but I know they feel hurt. These are the women who love and yet their loved one doesn't seem to notice it. These are the women who suffer for their loved one, and yet they settle for loving them from afar. Questions inside my head were raised when I heard Chico said this statement. I mean, I can't blame these women for not letting the man go. They love their husbands/boyfriends to death, and they'll do whatever they have to do just to make sure they come back. And what do they get in return? Nothing. Sometimes, their "sweethearts" have affairs or other families. Ang sakit-sakit siguro nun. I also cannot blame the man if he really doesn't love the woman back. But I just really feel bad about people in this kind of situations. Parang it hurts more than being whipped at the back by a rope or slashing yourself with a knife.. parang when it comes to matters of the heart, it is a hundred times more painful. Will I ever get to feel that pain? Will I ever love and get nothing in return? I hope not. I hope I don't reach the point wherein I would gladly jump off a bridge or kill myself just to prove to the person I love that yeah, I love you, with all my heart and soul. I don't want to be a desperate lover. Love is supposed to be happiness with pain, not pain with happiness. Love is supposed to be something you have out of happiness not out of despair. I pray for these women (or men).. may they find their peace and enlightenment in whatever decision they will make, either to let go or to stay.

Wow, I cannot believe I wrote a paragraph THAT long about that topic. I guess I was really carried away. Speaking of Desperate Housewives, I want to watch it! I've heard a lot about this show and I really want to see it. Only thing is I don't know what channel and when is it shown. Anyone of you who knows, tell me ASAP!

Hale, my favorite band in the whole wide world, is currently the number 1 in RX Top 7 with their song "The Day You Said Goodnight"! I'm soo happy for them! And I vote for that song, every chance I get. I am currently enjoying my Hale CD to bits, while lying on my bed and just drowning myself into the beauty of their songs. It's like their music swallows me and I become so engrossed with their songs that when I snap out to reality, I feel dazed. Their songs were written for me! Haha, especially Broken Sonnet. It has the hugest impact on me. Never have I liked a band so much.. I LOVE YOU HALE!!!

"if only you could know me like your prayers at night, then everything between you and me will be alright.."


moon river.. wider than a mile..

I just watched "Breakfast At Tiffany's" and call me a hopeless romantic, but it automatically became one of my favorite movies. I may have watched it only now, but believe me it touched my heart right away. Audrey Hepburn was stunningly beautiful (like Natalie only they're pretty in a different way) and her character was such a delight! Holly's dream is like any other woman's dream, to marry right away and be rich. I admit, I once dreamed of marrying someone not necessarily rich but you know, well-off so that I could spend the rest of my life glamorously and extravagantly. And although I've grown out of that dream, there's still a part of me that wishes that little thing. Anyway, seeing the movie made me want to go to New York! Oh the marvelous buildings and the beautiful buzz of the city.. *sigh* I enjoy watching old movies, you know, the classics. I really do. It's just so lovely, and so wonderful. It's like looking back through time and seeing the world in a simpler and more peaceful way. Isn't it true? When I see this black-and-white or colored-but-not-too-colorful type of films, I say to myself, life was beautiful back then. It was like it's full of love and happiness, sorrow will only come a little while, but in the end everybody gets their happy endings -- happily.

If given the choice to go back to a specific era, I would like to go back to the 50's, then to the 70's. I don't know, basta gustong-gusto ko bumalik sa 50's. It's like everybody is so beautiful and elegant. And didn't you notice that lots of women back then were extremely pretty? It's like all the women in the generations of the 50's are beautiful, and they have this classic-superstar look, with matching tilted head and black-and-white portrait. It's like living in a movie or something. I feel like it's a magical era. I don't know why. :) The 70's naman, well aside from the fact that it's the "party era", the music was soo groov-ay! Carpenters, Beegees, Tavares.. and let's not forget the movie scene: Saturday Night Fever and Star Wars. The fashion was also cool and hip -- bell bottoms, miniskirts and all. I think most of the fashion styles from the 70's have been making their comebacks, don't you think?

Suddenly I remembered that "Moon River" was from breakfast at Tiffany's.. ahh, I've been trying to play that from my grandma's Hollywood SongBook. It's kinda hard, but practice makes perfect. I really wish I could play it.. :) Anyway, tomorrow is my last PM class. I'm gonna miss Coach Reina and Paolo & Alec. I hope we exchange numbers. :p By the way, my bet (Canada) won in Miss Universe. Yaay! It's my second time in a row to guess who the winner will be. Haha, I'm getting psychic. :) Congrats to Miss Philippines because she won the Miss Photogenic title. Pinay beauty.. alrightie! :p

"Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way..
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.."