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band-aid please.

They say ending things you want to last forever hurts. And it does. Only not in the way you expect it to be. We all end up thinking "I'm gonna die when it happens" or "I cannot go on living life.. blah, blah" But that's because we don't actually KNOW what it will feel like when it happens. We don't UNDERSTAND why it SHOULD happen.

It was short and yet I felt like it was one of the most substantial conversations ever. For the first time in my life, I cried, partially because it hurt, but mostly because I understood why I had to do it. I cried because I was actually doing it out of a good feeling, and not because of a petty fight or whatnot. It was sad, but at the same time, I felt happy knowing that I don't have to hide anything no more and that I am free of all "denials". But at the same time, I also felt happy because though it had to end this way, I know it's for our good, and I know that somehow, things will still be the same. I prefer not to close my heart and my mind that maybe someday it could happen again, and maybe at a better time. I am not ending this permanently, but maybe this is just the beginning of something more.. something I know I deserve.

It's a little fast actually. I mean, this wasn't planned. Nothing's wrong, everything is in there perfect place. But I guess changes really do come when we least expect them -- surprises. Aah. And what really surprises me more is the fact that, I'm not actually taking this hard. It's actually okay. No feeling of hatred or anger. Of course, I still wish it was back to what it really was, but then I again if you think about it, it's better. It's sad you know? But of course, knowing that what you did is actually not for yourself but for others, well then it feels great. And besides, why should I be sad? I know nothing's gonna change between us. I know things will still be the same. And I know life is going to be okay.

I am not ending my fairy tale yet. Maybe this is just the end of one chapter, or the beginning of a new one. Maybe this isn't really the ending yet, maybe it's just a climax. Or maybe it just isn't the right time, but who knows what could happen?

"If I could, then I would
I'd go wherever you will go.
Way up high, or down low
I'd go wherever you will go."

You're still my superhero. And i'm still as hot as Wonder Woman. :p