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the little princess and her rose.

Classes are suspended (again) which means for the nth day in a row, I am stuck at home drowning myself in newly downloaded tunes, Friendster, One Tree Hill, and UAAP. (I've been downloading pictures of my crushes like crazy!!) Since the good old me finished my homeworks last night (though half of me didn't want to accomplish them because I had a very strong feeling that there'll be no classes today), I am unofficially free to do whatever I want today. And with that I mean blog. Haha =) I wasn't able to update for the past few days because something was wrong with Blogger and I couldn't log in. But now, I'm here, and I'm ready to share myself to the world again. HAHA.

In English class, we're discussing The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I have a confession to make (hold your breath) -- I haven't read this book yet. I swear, I haven't. Probably every person I know has read it and has been inspired by the wonderful messages hidden beneath each line. I've heard of this book and I know that it really is a wonderful classic, but now that I think of it, I have no idea why I haven't had the chance to get myself a copy and read it. Oh well, perhaps now is the perfect opportunity. So anyway, we've been talking about only one part of the book in class and it's the conversation between the prince and the fox. Our teacher, Mrs. Lee, asked all of us to write down 5 quotes from the selection and explain how we understood it. It was hard since almost every sentence contained something meaningful but perhaps what really struck me the most was this line:
"It is the time you have wasted on your rose that makes your rose important."

-- the Fox

The Little Prince took care of a beautiful rose. To some, it may look ordinary and just like every other rose in the world. But because he has taken care of that rose, it becomes something of value. In this line, the wolf is telling the prince that what makes his rose more important than all of the other roses was that he has given his time for that rose, and because of that, it means something.

I guess we all have our "roses" -- something we cherish and treasure. The first time I read this line, I immediately found myself wondering what my rose is. I have a lot of important things in life, both material and insubstantial. But I guess one thing I can consider my rose, something I own and hold really close to my heart is this blog. Okay, so it may sound cheesy, but I have devoted most of my PC time for this journal. I may not be updating often, but I go around to see my visitors, constantly think of ideas for a layout, and just come up with things to write. Not many of you know this, but I've been blogging since my freshman year in high school and I strongly believe that if it wasn't for blogging, I would have probably gone berserk right now. It's true. I consider this journal as an outlet for my emotions. I have vented out my steam more than a hundred times (in more than a hundred posts) in this blog. I have expressed myself creatively (though not brilliantly, haha) in the many layouts that I have created. I'm not a journalist, but I consider myself a writer. I write because I want to write, because writing lets me express myself. And this blog has been my avenue for all my sentiments. It has connected me to the world. To some, this online journal may just be another smidgen in this vast world called the Internet. But because I have taken good care of this for almost three years now (and counting), it becomes important. It's significant. And to me, it is unlike any other blog in the world.

"Men have forgotten this truth,," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. you become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

The Little Prince and the Fox

So now, let me ask you.. what's your "rose"?


University of the Philippines College Admission Test -- the experience of a lifetime.

The whole UPCAT week (meaning the days prior and the exam day itself) was probably the most draining, tiring, and excruciating I've ever had in my life. We had our periodic exams on the same week and to top it off, parents and teachers we're pressuring us like crazy. For the whole of last week all you can hear from the seniors is UPCAT. It literally drove me insane.

From Friday to Sunday, I felt nauseous. Since I was to take the test on Sunday afternoon (last batch) the agony seemed much longer. I would suddenly wake up early in the morning with a stomach ache, or in the middle of answering my review books I'd suddenly cry. It was as strange as strange could get. I guess you could say the pressure and anxiety just crept in and overwhelmed me. I was in a dilemma: to review and absorb every last bit of information my brain can contain or not review and just let my mind relax? Saturday afternoon onward, people from the first three batches started group messaging on how hard it was and all that. I was really panicking. And then came Sunday morning. We left the house early , around 9 am I think, because we expected heavy traffic. After about an hour, we finally arrived at UP and saw lots of cars and parents (im)patiently waiting for their children. I stayed in the car, forcing myself to remember gas laws, stoichiometry and other concepts that came to mind. I really didn't feel well. Imagine being there, knowing that in a few hours you'd be taking the test that will determine your future. It was definitely nerve-wracking.

Fast forward to 11:30 am. Just an hour away from the test. I was standing in line in front of the Institute of Chemistry with my hand tightly holding my test permit (covering my very un-pretty 2x2 pic.. long story behind that picture, basta sa UP ko lang ginamit yun. Haha). Around me were students just as uneasy and fearful as I was. Some were with their friends, others were talking to each other, but I was just there standing alone, too afraid to speak out of fear that I might puke out of nervousness. Yes, that's how tensed I was. As we finally entered the building in single file, I waved goodbye to my mom, signed myself with the Cross and walked what seemed to be the longest journey from the ground floor to the classroom.

I settled in my seat, made sure that all my five Mongol No. 2 pencils were okay (yes, five freaking pencils, because I was afraid sharpening them in case they break would take too much time. I did bring a sharpener though. Haha), placed my bag in front, and just prayed. I was in constant prayer all throughout. I silently told myself that if I get tired or sleepy, I'm going to eat all my Magic Cremes and Oreos just so I'd feel normal. After a few minutes, the test booklets were distributed. We were instructed on how to fill up the forms and before I knew it I was answering the test. All throughout this voice inside me kept saying, "This is it! This is it! This is the freakin UPCAT!" that made me all the more determined to answer the questions WELL. It was hard to decide on whether to leave the questions blank or risk losing a 0.25 point. It was also hard making sure that every circle is correctly shaded (bawal lumagpas sa circle.. oh the horrors!) and every changed answer is properly erased. I thought of eating after the Math test, but I changed my mind because I might puke all the Oreos out even before I could swallow them. Harhar. It was very draining indeed. Endurance talaga. Three hundred plus items are no joke. So for five long hours, I sat there, squeezing my brain to the highest extent. Five long hours of mental agony.

I think I may have suffered brain damage afterwards. I felt woozy upon leaving the classroom. But a whole lot of weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And it felt so good.

What's funny is that I'm looking back at it now and I realize how pathetic I sound. Imagine going through all that just for an entrance exam. But I think it wasn't the test itself that I was afraid of. It was the future. The fact that I may or may not go to UP because of that test. The idea of my parents and family feeling like I failed them if I don't pass. The fear of typing my name in the UPCAT website and seeing "No results found" flashing before me. The test was difficult, but what made this experience even more grueling was the pressure. I've been using that word for the last few months and I hate it. But it's there: PRESSURE. Maybe if I wasn't in this situation of wanting and needing to go to this school, the test would seem a little bit easier. I wouldn't have been nauseating all week. But that was that. It's over and done with. A big sigh of relief -- TAPOS NA ANG UPCAT!! WOOHOO!! I survived the University of the Philippines College Admission Test. Yeah.

ACET, USTET and DLSU-EE, here I come.

Hirit ng isang Physics nerd.
Haha =)

I'm downloading songs and it's love. It has been a while since I last loaded my beloved iPod (which I'm going to rename since Bee doesn't really suit her anymore, haha) with fresh, new tracks. I miss drowning myself with new music and new bands, which is why I'm doing it today. I'm currently loving Cute Is What We Aim For. Their songs are super addicting, especially The Curse of Curves. The video is rad too! =) You should go check them out.

Thank God for the rain. Not only do we get to stay at home but I get to feel all senti and mushy -- which is so not me, but I'm liking it anyway. Haha. It's fun being a bum. But only for a short while since reality always finds a way to snap me back and make me realize I have tons of work to do. Uuugh. Later.