home           about           blog           archives           domain           exits           ask

"so, miss bernardo, what is the limit of the function?"

Karla: "The limit does not exist."
Mrs. Torres: "And what is the explanation?"
Karla: "Because the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from above and the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from below are not equal."
Mrs. Torres: "Okay, very good."


I am officially in love with Calculus.

Days like these have been rare for the past few months, especially in Math class. It wasn't as exciting as it used to be. And yes, it is pretty boring most of the time. But for the past few days, it's as if a huge light bulb is TING!-ing inside my head.. I get it! And I actually enjoy it! You should see my notebook, it's full of graphs, examples and exercises. Is the function f(x) is discontinuous at x=6? Haha. This is what you call "geek speak." LOL.

Oh, and with that, I can officially mimic Cady Heron from Mean Girls screaming, "The limit does not exist! The limit does not exist!" and actually know what limits are. Yehey! (Nerd alert!)

I still cannot believe that only eight days from now, the Seniors shall be taking our fourth periodical tests -- our FINAL periodical tests in our high school life! It's a little too overwhelming knowing that the end really is approaching. After that, so long classes, and hello nonstop graduation practices! That being said, I must not take this last examination for granted because however cliche this may sound, I do want to leave a good impression. I started reviewing last night and I shall be dedicating this weekend to just reviewing.. which means no OTH marathons and YouTube tutorials. But that's okay. After next week, it's freedom baby! I can't wait!

One thing I haven't been mentioning is our upcoming Graduation Ball on March 1st. It is such a huge deal for us because things like these don't usually push through in our uber-conservative school. But because we are the first ever batch to graduate with boys in the High School department (yep, we WERE an all-girls school), we are pioneers. Haha. So obviously, everyone is going gaga over what to wear, what accessories to match, what colors suit their skin, all the enchilada. And I guess I'm one with them in the stress too. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, right? Every girl dreams to have this one night of glamour, elegance, and beauty. I hope that night will be one of the most memorable nights in not just my Senior life, but my entire life. And I'm sure it will be, since I got myself a second pair of VNC shoes for that night! =) Haha. I'll show the pictures soon.

One of my Lenten sacrifices would be lessening the amount of time I spend on the computer. So with that, I am going on a short blog leave, just until the Finals end, so I can concentrate on more important things as of the moment. Hope you all enjoy the remaining days of this school year! =)

The most adorable guy this season
in American Idol.
And he's the also most adorable guy in the planet.


let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster!

"When love is not madness, it is not love."

-- Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Tomorrow is the overrated, highly anticipated, and cliche-d occasion almost everyone is worried about. It's the day of hearts, chocolates, flowers and everything else that falls under the category of hardcore cheesiness. It's when girls anticipate giant teddy bears & huge bouquets, and boys go through the agonizing ordeal of buying them. Oh yes, it's Valentine's.

I can't blame people for going the extra mile just for this holiday. After all, who can resist an official day for lovey-doveys and cheesiness, right? Every 14th of February, we are licensed to act as mushy and as kilig as we want.

Kilig. Is there an English term for that? And is there ever a concrete definition for it? Because I certainly need something concrete that will define that electrifying feeling you feel when you read a passionately written love letter, or the tingle that rushes through your spine when you receive a bouquet of roses, or the rush of blood that runs in your veins as you hold hands with someone special, or just the plain blushing of your cheeks when something so incredible happens. I am a human being after all, therefore I am not a stranger to this feeling. But it is just so unexplainable and abstract, its obscurity can drive one insane.

Sometimes I don't like feeling kilig because it ruins my day. I cannot think properly. I doodle love songs on scratch papers, I spell out names on my scientific calculator, I associate limits in Calculus class with certain dates. (Unless the "limit does not exist!" Haha) My friends say when I get kilig I turn all red and I have this asim face that is so inevitable, it's like I'm wearing a huge neon "I LIKE YOU!" sign on my forehead. It sucks that this feeling can just really get right through me and leave me out there susceptible to harm. It sucks that one moment I can feel so sure of myself, and just fall apart the next because of it. It sucks that I am usually a smart and intelligent person but when I have a crush I seem klutzy and frenzied. As Jessica Darling puts it, IT SUCKITY SUCK SUCKS.

Oh, who am I kidding. It's such an immense feeling of madness that takes over you and leaves you feeling vulnerable and weak.. but boy, does it feel good. =)

May we all have our fair share of kilig tomorrow -- and for the rest of the year as well. It's too good of a feeling, we deserve to have it not just on February 14. Whether you're single, attached or "It's complicated," just as long as you are a human being with a functioning heart and overly-excited hormones, then you deserve all the KILIG you want. We all do!

I guess Mr. De La Barca is right after all.


"Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster!
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?"

-- Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by
Panic! At The Disco


a glimpse of bilibid.

It was a cloudy day. The skies were gray, somewhat deceitful for it kept me guessing if it would rain or not. Despite the nonstop chit-chat we had in the car, I can't remove the nagging feeling inside me. It was a strange sensation, like having butterflies in your stomach -- or wait, maybe pterodactyls would be a much appropriate winged specie. Nevertheless, there was no turning back. This was bound to be an experience of a lifetime.

We reached the New Bilibid Prison in Muntinlupa at around 8:30. From the outside, it looked different from what we see on television. It was like a city hall, but of course with a large number of police officers from almost every corner. We were asked to sign our names and surrender our IDs at the first gate. I had nothing with me -- no cellphones or money. Only my trusty handkerchief and myself. As we walked along the corridor that led to the main gate, my buddy for the day Steph, who was also a first-timer like me, held hands so tightly. I looked back at Cathe and saw that she was a bit frightened too. It was gloomy and dark. Only five people can enter the main gate at once, and only with the permission of the chief, along with more signatures. Steph and I stood nervously by the door, not knowing what to expect. A part of me imagined Azkaban, the dark and dreadful place where the wizard criminals go. The inmates are probably much like those in the story, whose happiness were sucked out of them by the Dementors. I wondered how I can ever go through what seemed to be a saddening experience. Alas, the gates were opened. I held Steph's hands tight and we walked in.

Orange. Lots of men in orange looking at us, greeting us politely with huge smiles on their faces. A group of men wearing blue held umbrellas for us to protect us from the heat. In one straight line, we were led to the chapel. I have never seen a criminal in person, so imagine my surprise when I saw thousands of them. There was a basketball game going on in the court, and most of them were so engrossed with the game. Meanwhile, the others were just there, hanging out like they were in school or in the village. The Mass just started when we arrived so we settled in the seats they reserved for us in front. All throughout the Mass, I had this huge urge to cry. The inmates were so devoted to their singing and were actively participating. It gave shivers to my spine. The feeling it gave me was like that of the Youth Camps we had in YFC, the feeling of extreme adoration for the Lord. For a moment, I felt ashamed of myself because of how seemingly little my faith was compared to theirs. Throughout the Mass, tears kept welling in my eyes. Steph and Nica kept asking me if I was okay and I said I was. I didn't really want to cause a commotion there, so I really held back the tears with all my might.

After the Mass, they gave us a presentation. Their choir gave us song numbers which were mostly their compositions about life, love, and God. Another group of men danced and they were REALLY good, our jaws dropped to the floor! Extremely skilled, I tell you. They were obviously prepared. They asked us to do a number, and we performed an impromptu. I stood before the mic stand and the moment I said, "Yo!" they screamed their heads off. Haha. The whole Student Council sang Power of Two and Torete with Trixie on guitars. It was moving, especially when some waved their hands and sang along with us. I never enjoyed singing Torete as much as I did that moment.

After the small program, we immediately gave out the "gifts" we had for them. These contained the toiletries we bought using the proceeds from the Aring Kring-Kring Raffle Draw we held in which the whole school participated in. As we gave away the plastic bags, I cannot help but feel teary-eyed again. We were informed that the selected inmates to receive our donations were the old and those who rarely, or never, receive any visits from their relatives. Some were on crutches, others blind, others were obviously so sick. You know what people usually say, that a smile and a thank you is enough? I thought that was an overrated, showbiz answer. But a while ago? MAN. Just a simple "Salamat, iha," was all I needed. They just pierced right through me. I believe I've never felt such a rush of emotion in my life. My heart sank as I saw the unfortunate others who were not chosen by the coordinators. Later, we were led to a room where we ate and had a few chats with some inmates.

They weren't scary as some of you might think. They were like normal, everyday people you talk with. They were kind and very accommodating. You wouldn't think they were capable of illegal recruiting, thief, rape or even murder. Once I talked to them, all the fear just vanished. I didn't see them as the evil people they were, instead I saw in their eyes their genuine transformation. I saw it. I just know. I can't explain it. I talked to several Kuyas, and the other one told me he would be set free in 2009. I told him I was happy for him, but he said he was worried because he had nowhere to go anyway. He wouldn't be able to find a decent job because of his conviction, and his family is ashamed of him. I think most of them are happier there inside, where they are all equal and treat each other as brothers. They are not judged by their peers because they all did something horrible in the past. The other one who befriended me, Kuya Francis, told me that I should return next year. I said I'm about to graduate in March. But he said that even if I'm graduating already I can still get the chance to visit them because most universities like Ateneo, UST, and UP also go there for their outreach programs. I was thrilled. My heart really went out to them.

The Bilibid Outreach Program has been the project of the Student Council for quite some years already. Our school has already been awarded because of our generosity to their institution. Most people will think that these prisoners don't deserve the love we've been giving them. They killed people, ruined other's lives, and brought shame to their families. And yes, a part of me also goes out to the people they have hurt. I probably will never understand the pain they all went through. But here's one thought: Jesus was persecuted, ridiculed, and crucified on the cross. And yet He, who was God and all powerful, found it in His heart to forgive those who tormented him. So why can't we, who are only mere humans, do the same? Most of the inmates' families already forgot about them, and would never want to see them again. Where can they get the love they still deserve? What would be the purpose of their stay in prison if no one will recognize their willingness to change? PEOPLE CHANGE. Sometimes, it takes years, but they do. We all do.

The experience today was most definitely life changing. I left the correctional facility a different person. I will never be the same person again. It was nothing like an Azkaban experience, or even the dreadful encounter we see on the news. It was like entering a new world, but with a feeling of familiarity. I was there with them and I was, for a moment, one of them. I will never forget what Kuya Francis called out to me as I left their gates:

"Ingat ka sa labas, Ate. Thank you."

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to Me.

Matthew 25: 35-36


february's just begun.

(In Biochemistry)

Kassey: Anong acid ang maiitim?
Me: Ano?
Kassey: Edi.. ANINO acid!
Me: =)) =)) =))

(Kassey telling the same joke to Inna and Hope)
Kassey: Edi.. ANINO acid!
Inna: =)) =)) =))
Hope: ......
*after a few seconds*
Hope: =)) =)) =))

Haha, wala lang. Share lang.

We got the official letters from DLSU and UST today. We were so excited to finally get a hold of the real proof that we did get in. If the waiting wasn't so excruciatingly painful I would have opted to not look at the results in the Internet. Just thinking about those scenes from the movies, or even from the books (like Gossip Girl) where you get together with your friends and you rip your envelopes open, revealing your future is definitely worth experiencing. But then again, who can escape the advancement of technology, right? Some faked their excitement as they tore the seals, but I told myself my parents deserved a share of this eagerness so I didn't open mine until I got home. My mom told me she'd have them framed daw! Hahaha!

Today was Kaila's 17th birthday. We surprised her by telling her we'll be doing our Biochem project when in fact we all went to her house. She thought no one was going to be there, but apparently almost everyone was! And of course it wouldn't have been complete without her favorite Chocolate Mousse from Red Ribbon. Birthday parties are always fun, especially when we end up watching Tagalog movies. Haha. It's always been like that with us, basta those jologs-somewhat-sappy local films, be it horror, comedy, or drama. This time we watched A Love Story. Haha, super laugh trip, especially the kissing scenes! NYAHAHA. I didn't get to finish the movie because I told my mom I'd be home by 7:00 but I still had fun. Happy Birthday again, Twin! =)

It is once again February, the over-commercialized Month of Hearts. Ironically though, I keep on hearing about people getting their hearts broken, be it about their love life or some other things going on with them. Isn't it supposed to be all blissful and happy, with matching chocolate hearts and expensive bouquets? Apparently not. Maybe Cupid fell asleep and forgot to work his magic. This situation irritates me a little (just a little, really) because people are going to get all emo again. Not that I have anything against emo. But it's just so depressing to see other people, well, depressed. The normally happy-go-lucky ones are now bluer than blue, and their usual heart-shaped eyes are now filled with welled-up tears. Maybe this is a rude awakening of some sort, that maybe we shouldn't use February being the Love Month as a reason to just let things slip away. Maybe this is some cosmic way of letting us know that things will happen for a reason. If it's meant to last or end, it will, regardless of the month or date. We can't always let signs and symbols do the work for us because we do the magic. As sappy as that sounded, I actually think it's true.

However, this might also just be a rude awakening that unlike everyone else around me, I won't get my heart broken because I am single. OR AM I?

I'm definitely taken by this guy.
♥ ♥ ♥


last long test!

Yesterday was the last day of our 4th Departmental Test (aka Long Test) and boy, did I rejoice! Imagine, that's the last Long Test I'll ever have in my almost-ending Paulinian life! WHOO! =) Only one major exam left, and we're off! Our Biochemistry and Trigonometry tests were total downers, leaving almost everyone teary-eyed after the test. But, we all had one common thing in mind, "Last na yun!" Haha. Senior Complex rolling in again.

We also got our annual pics given yesterday. I only have one word: HAHA! We only had two shots, and the other one we have to give back for the yearbook, so we'll only go home with one. That sucks. But I'll be ordering extra copies later. Anyway, I was laughing my head off as I saw mine because I look so FAKE! In the other one, I look like I had my nose done! Unbelievable. So I was faced with the big question: which among the two will I choose for the yearbook? The other normal so-so one, or the quasi-gorgeous with a nose lift? I asked most of my friends, and they chose the latter. Ouch, mas maganda daw ako sa "retokada." Haha. Imagine 25 years from now, the children and grandchildren of my batchmates and other graduates will look at the annual and point at my picture all while saying, "Mommy! Look at her, she has a phony nose!" Oh the horrors! But, oh well. What's done is done. At least I didn't have my eyes closed, unlike some of my classmates. Teehee, I'm so meeeean. =P

AAACK! =))
Okay, I'm giving you permssion to laugh out loud. HAHA.

For the past few weeks, my parents have been purchasing plastic containers, you know the Orocan-like bins where you put your stuff. My room is full of clutter: headbands, earrings, perfumes, colognes, clips.. so many little things that mess up my otherwise orderly bedside table. But apparently, it's not just to de-clutter my room. It's in preparation for the D word. Yep -- DORM. I always imagined myself living in a dorm in my college years, but now that it's coming, it's quite surreal. I'm an only child so I always thought that my parents will just find a way to hatid-sundo me in UP or something. But no, they're really sending me to a boarding house.. with my friends and fellow Iskolars. And it's both scary and exciting at the same time. It's like in the movies.. only it's for real. Haha. Can I handle it? I hope I can. I mean, I'm a big girl already. And it's my chance to prove that I'm not the typical spoiled-and-bratty only child. I'm different, coz I can handle myself. =)

We have to go to Mass already. Later. =)