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Of growing up, and life imitating art.

Has it really been that long?

I'm having this very meaningful trip down to memory lane with my very dear friend, Cathe-slash-Cars. We just came from our friend Kaila's 18th birthday party. After getting our caffeine fix at Starbucks and reaching home, we started talking over YM about how unfortunate and difficult it is to not have water supply here in Paranaque, then we ended up reminiscing about our friendship. From our bondings at leadership trainings, to our first blogging years.. we have so many memories together and yet all the moments we shared feel like it was only yesterday.

In fact, everything feels like it was only yesterday.

These days, I try to avoid nostalgia. Because it brings back memories both good and bad. And I'm not good at dealing with unpleasant memories. But mostly because I really don't want to get stuck in the past anymore. I've gotten myself stuck in a rut for the past few months because I could not get over unfinished business in high school. I could not settle things not just with other people, but with myself as well. It was as if I was in a mess I could not and would not get out of.

Then 2009 happened. And yes, I'm proud to say I've grown up a lot already. I know it sounds impossible to "grow up" in a month or so, but I really felt like I did. I started talking to some friends again, I stopped being angry at certain people, I learned to let go of things that I held on to. I started to realize that there was no point in holding any more grudges. Looking back, I still feel a pang of pain. But now it's as if I've begun seeing the bigger picture. I've started connecting the dots, and now everything is making sense. I guess feeling sad over things that ended is natural -- but I don't feel regretful anymore. And maybe that's a good thing. Because it's only when we start accepting things that the healing can actually begin.

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save."
-- Your Ex-Lover Is Dead; Stars

(Sometimes, it's easy to believe that life imitates art. Thanks for recommending this song, Cathe-slash-Cars!)

I did not mean to sound morose tonight -- err, this morning. The rude awakening just happened unexpectedly :P

I'm still on a caffeine high! Woooh, thank you very much White Mocha. Now I can't sleep. Good thing I have Cathe-slash-Cars to keep me company in my sabaw-ness. We're planning our future joint venture. Let's just say it probably won't get us to Santa's Nice Kids list this year! Haha.

Ciao, mi amici :)

Live through this and you won't look back.