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A lazy Monday afternoon.

Depending on what mood I'm in, Mondays are either the most productive or most useless days of my week. It is general knowledge that (most) UP students do not have class on Mondays so more often than not it can be the saving grace from the uselessness of the weekend (because God knows it's hard to be productive on Saturdays and Sundays) - you can catch up on your acads or catch up on your sleep. Either way's fine.

Since it's almost the end of the sem, obviously my Mondays have been more of the Cram-and-get-everything-done kind. Not that they've all been one hundred percent spent that way, but you get the picture. Of course there will inevitably be short (not really) naps and the occasional random musings that are normal of a person who is alone in a nine-square-meter room. Usually brought upon by random songs on my iPod.

Like my concerns about my own future: about this summer, the next school year, the LAE, graduation. I know it's too early to be anxious about stuff like this, but I can't help it. I don't usually worry about them but with everything so close all of a sudden, how can I not think about it? Big changes are sure to come this year, this 2011. And not just to myself but for most people around me. This year can possibly define my career- heck, my life. Can't time just maybe stop for a while and give me something to hold on to, something I can be certain of, before life throws its shit at me?

It doesn't help that this week is Hell Week and the amount of tension is just about to exponentially increase as days go by and I am bound to stress over every little detail that I come across.

Then it rained and Portishead decided to say hello. "Glory Box." Seriously? Beth Gibbons on a dark, moody, lonely Monday? Suddenly, I was feeling all sorts of emotional, comforted, distressed- a twisted bundle of sentiments I cannot exactly put my finger on.

Sometimes songs are all I have. I realized, as I lay on my bed, lazily typing a blog entry and a Philosophy paper, taking in the entire "Dummy" album, what I really needed was some snuggling. Or beer. Or maybe a secret rendezvous, an illicit night out. Just something, something to go with this song. Something to make me feel sane. Whichever comes first. I'll gladly hold on to it.

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be a woman
I just wanna be a woman