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Where are my Oreos when I most need them?

Once again, I've arrived at this time, this place, where everything feels like they weigh ten times more than what they should; where words that need to be said seem to hide themselves in cracks between other words that don't; where minutes appear to diminish exponentially as they by.

Hello, hell week(s). We meet again.

I wish I could blog more, but there is almost nothing going in my life that isn't in the tiniest bit related to acads. Which is a shame. A shaaame.

In the meantime, I am finding refuge in cookies and yogurt and oatmeal bars and more cookies.


Of blonde ambitions.

(Photo credit: The Yellow Adventures)

Last Saturday, the UP Pep Squad has once again proven its claim as the Icons of Reinvention in cheerleading after they defended their crown at the UAAP Cheerdancing Competition.

There are dumb blondes, and then there are UP blondes. This year the team went all out in proclaiming their love for the Queen of Pop by donning bleach blonde hair and conical bras. It was, as always, a fun and spunky number executed flawlessly by the entire team. Their dance moves were sensational; I liked how they used only samples of Madonna's songs as it kept the whole routine fresh and unexpected. And of course the stunts! Phenomenal. UP is known for building their pyramids with just one count, and I swear to God, they have nailed that to perfection. On most parts, I just couldn't help myself from going, "How is that even humanly possible!?" Flying boys and girls all over the floor and with smiles still plastered on their faces at that. But what really makes the UP Pep stand out for me is the way they have this aura, this vibe that no other squad can match - laging may angas. May bangis. I cannot think of a suitable English counterpart for those words right now, but really, that's what UP will always, always have that can never be taken away from them: the UP Pep Swag!

I was part of the crowd again, like I was last year and in 2008, and so far my friend and I's theory that UP wins when we watch live still remains to be disproved. We practically gave up on the tickets and were firm in not going Friday night, but I suppose the gods of school spirit really wanted us to be there so badly that tickets just suddenly found their way to us by magic! (aka a very good friend from the Ateneo) We found ourselves on the Gen Ad bleachers again, but no qualms - it's definitely where all the fun happens. Donning black, shouting for the school with what remains of my already worn-out vocal chords, and just basking in the revelry of school spirit - that was how I always want to remember being a student of UP: superior and proud.

I will never forget seeing the 2007 CDC performance of the UP Pep back when I was a senior in high school. The "UP Rocks" routine had angas written all over it, and that moment is still clear inside my head, about getting goosebumps several times in the performance, particularly the part where they did the Oblation pose, and towards the end when the girls and boys were dancing separately with pom-poms. I remember telling myself then, "UP talaga eh," and suddenly appealing to the mercy of the cosmos that it has to be this university, and nothing else. If I don't get to cheer "U-nibersidad ng Pilipinas!" for real, I may never forgive my sixteen-year-old self who took the exam. All versions of me will never forgive myself. I couldn't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to go in UP.

And now, four years later, I have just cheered my lungs out (again) for the last time as an undergraduate student. But I pray it's not the last. I'm finding myself in the same place again, wishing and praying that the university will grant me another four years of suffering but also immense enthusiasm. I'm hoping I'd still get to call myself a UP student even after having gotten my graduation pictures. I don't want to say goodbye just yet.

Let's go blonde, Karla. Legally blonde. ;)




Hello, September.

While August was such a mentally-exhausting and physically-frustrating month, September 1st came in with chilly winds and a drizzle of rain, a kind of comforting, mellow arrival, edging through my calendar calmly rather than conspicuously. Which is what I need right now, actually.

I'm so tired. Thesis, of course, is the primary reason. But more than that, just the pressure of being in my fourth year, the thought of being so near the finish line, the nearness of another exam waiting to decide my fate - all of that are completely driving me to the limits. I'm usually very optimistic, but of course I can't help feeling scared and overwhelmed too. Things have gone so well for me; what if the good karma suddenly just stops? Because life is unfair, right?

But for the last few weeks, I've been having a peaceful, truly relaxing weekends with my family, the best conversations with my roommates, the funniest and wittiest moments with my closest friends, and the most uplifting and comforting time with the Boyfriend. I mean, really. With all the inward, internal self-retrospection that is required of writing, having to talk to (really intellectual) people and getting the chance to place myself outside myself is just a complete and total relief. To project the words out of my mouth instead of my mind is just what I need to keep me grounded. It's always a great feeling knowing that I am surrounded with people who care for me enough to be their ear, and love me enough to hear about what I have to say. Having these people around me makes me feel like there is nothing to be scared of. At least, not for now.

It's a long grueling battle, this sem. But I'm counting my blessings. I'm thankful for whatever good vibes I can get. Thankful for the Oreo cheesecakes, the frozen yogurts, the sexy talks, the Robot Unicorns, the Ryan Gosling movies, the boy in a really, really cute polo - the silver linings that have been coming my way. They get me through; and I think right now that's what matters.

Let's do this, September.