home           about           blog           archives           domain           exits           ask

Peanut butter dependency.

Lately, I've been having this growing attachment (more like dependency) on peanut butter. For the last four months, my breakfast at the dorm consisted of nothing but Gardenia's wheat bread and Lady's Choice creamy peanut butter. I do not know why I never get tired and why it never stops being so darn good. I think I may have even gotten to that point where I would much rather have peanut butter than Nutella. (Oh good Lord, how is that even possible! I hear you say) Yes. The Nutella jar is being ignored like the seatmate you only befriended so that you could get it on with her best friend. I know it feels insulted, given that it's the more popular one, but there's nothing I can do about it - I got it bad for peanut butter, and peanut butter alone.

I'm not at the point of addiction, though. At least not yet. I only consume it with bread and only for breakfast - I haven't gotten to that point where I need eat it with a spoon while all huddled up in a corner, in tears. I also don't find it necessary to eat it with other sweets like cookies or biscuits. (Or Oreos like what they did in Parent Trap - though I've tried that!) But it really has figured itself into my whole routine now. I feel like a mess when I don't get my peanut butter, like I cannot function at all. It's like forgetting to put on deodorant or leaving behind your handkerchief.

I actually have no idea why I'm writing about this other than, well, I'm trying to find comfort in these little constants in my life just to get by. I guess it's just one of the few things that's been keeping me together while the stress of graduation (and the future! Dun dun dun) keeps me all muddled up. Having my peanut butter breakfast makes me want to actually drag myself out of bed even when my body's begging to stay in bed, and it actually perks me up enough to get me through my day. That's saying a lot. And maybe even for just that, the craving is worth mentioning or even writing about, if only to keep me sane as I battle it out with the last three months of college.

Peanut butter, if you hold the key to my motivation, then for the love of God get me through this semester.