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D is for Domination!

Block D 2016!
Best Block /Overall Champion of Freshie Night 2012

Guess who won as Best Block for Freshie Week?

Let's go Block D! #DisforDomination #1D #oneDirection :)))))

Yes, despite the amount of schoolwork we have to deal with, the first years had time for this. I honestly didn't think how anyone could decide to hold events in the middle of July in law school, but as if we haven't already been "initiated" enough, we had our Freshie Week, a competition between freshman blocks that included games and activities such as debate, Amazing Races, quiz bees, and obstacle relays for an entire week. Our block held a commanding lead all throughout, and we won big in the major events during the last night, including 2nd place for Ms. Freshie (Malcolm's version of Ms. Eng'g), and 1st place for the block performance (Spice Girls!!!). We only prepared for these the night before because we had our first major exam to worry about first, but we managed to pull through. So, woot woot! \:D/

I couldn't possibly be any luckier that I am part of this diverse, talented, and incredibly intelligent mix of people. A lot of days I feel like giving up, but really, these people make me want to try harder and always keep pushing - if only to prove to myself that I deserve to stay in the company of such wonderful friends.

Saturday was a fun night. It just goes to show that there really is life in law school, if you just look hard enough. It's fun, and it's not such a horrible place to be in. The people around you are just as stressed and just as defeated, but they're just as game and sabaw as well. It's always comforting to realize that you're all on the same boat, just getting by everyday with a little sense of humor and a little more pluckiness. It's nice to have nights like this to remind us that we're still human beings and that we can all let our guards down for a while and see each other like normal people again.

(Then Sunday night comes and suddenly, it's back to regular programming. What a downer - the weather isn't helping.)




So it has come to this.

I was quietly grocery shopping at the nearby supermarket when they started playing Justin Bieber's "Baby."

Thought you'd always be mine, mine.

Oh God, why.


So, how are you, Karla?

Yesterday, I've been afforded a law school miracle by way of suspension of classes. Our prof for Legal Methods decided to not hold class due to the inclement weather and for the first time in a long while, I had faith in the universe again. No kidding. I seriously needed that break.

Law school is tough. I'm saying this as plainly and simply as it could get - because what else is there to say? It just really is difficult, period. I thought I loved it enough, I thought I wanted it enough. But apparently, no amount of Ally McBeal and Suits can ever make one prepared for what's out here. In the TV shows, we never see the lawyers reading cases, and we hardly ever hear them complain about getting called for a bad recitation or a failing mark. (Well, they sure don't talk about their law school experiences, do they?) Sure, they lose in court or they get yelled at by clients. But at the end of the day, they have their swanky offices or hot, muscled co-workers to affirm them - and balance is restored. Their egos remain intact, and all is right in the world again.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out how to just get through everyday.

Suddenly, my days have been divided into either reading cases or reciting them. I hardly have time for sleep. My bookshelves are already getting filled with readings, and we're barely halfway into the semester. All my money's being spent on photocopied cases. I rarely ever see people outside law school anymore.

It's exhausting. Law school is hardly forgiving - one never feels like you've done enough, one never feels like you're deserving of anything. It's like a jealous, clingy mistress, they say. It eats you up, it tears you apart. It can get to you - especially deep into the night, like while you're reviewing for an impossible exam with 137 cases, and you realize you only have three hours before class - it can really get to you; it can make you question what you want and why you want them. It can make you feel like maybe all the mental, emotional, and physical torture's just not worth it; you'd rather keep your sanity than pride.

Sometimes, I think, when will it get easier? Will it ever? Sometimes, I wish I still had someone to share all this with, so that at the very least I'd have an anchor, some constant I can hold onto. It can all get so frustrating that perhaps even just fingers in between mine would suffice and give things a sense of being kept together. And then sometimes, I just resign myself to the thought that perhaps I'm better off handling all this on my own than having someone who would probably not understand anyway.

I'm tired, yes. I'm confused, yes. But I'm also still just here. I have nowhere to go and have no place else to be.  I earned my spot here. I have no choice but to muddle through the best way I can and just get going. Maybe it's going to get better soon enough, maybe it won't. But at least despite everything I'm uncertain of right now, there is one thing I'm sure of, one thing that cannot be denied: I'm here.

And I guess I'm staying.




May Masabi Lang, Supreme Court Justice-style

CRUZ, J., concurring:

Instead of merely affixing my singature to signify my concurrence, I write this separate opinion simply to say I have nothing to add to Justice Irene R. Cortes' exceptionally eloquent celebration of the right of information on matters of public concern.

(from Valmonte vs. Belmonte, Jr.)

O di ba. Pwede namang, "I concur" na lang kung hindi rin naman pala marami yung sasabihin. But noooo, he just had to say this. May masabi lang talaga eh. :)) 

(This is basically what has become of me lately - finding humor in the most hopeless of places: cases. #ohgodwhy)




That feeling

of trying, but never really getting there.

Like with Consti. I spent all day reading and what do I get? The awful realization that I still have about, what, forty cases to go before our exam on Thursday. Like with sleep. I try to squeeze in as many possible minutes (minutes!) I can after classes but the body will always want more, of course it will. It's bound to reach its tipping point one of these days. Like with you. And the many things and people and tastes I try to put in your place but instead only end up making me realize how absent you are, how much these fries aren't as crunchy as those we tried doing, how much these people sound like you, how much they don't, how much they get me, how much they won't, how nothing will ever measure up to you, how it's not you, never you, no longer you.


Law school - so far -

- has been taking away sleep and rest from me, loading me with too many cases (on average, around 60-70 a week), and making me feel like the most inadequate person in the world.

But it has also given me the most amazing set of people, and right now, I just can't complain.