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Some loves never die

Coming home

Went to CAL after class today because one of my thesis advisers wanted to lend me a fountain pen. He's an avid pen collector; meanwhile I'm a calligraphy newbie. He said he wanted me to try one -- and it was such an honor because knowing how much he values his pens (among other cool and awesome things he owns), he trusted me to try one of his! It's a Noodler's Ink Flexa Pen which was a completely unknown animal to me, because I've only used nibs and nib-holders thus far. But the tip of this pen is very much similar to a calligraphy nib, so I was so excited to go home and try it. (Also because calligraphy's the only kind of "creative writing" I do nowadays, ha ha hahaha.)

But before I did, of course, I took a moment to loiter, linger a bit more, and soak up all the college feelings I could get from being in the CAL area. It was bittersweet being back in the Faculty Center again, walking the same corridors I used to hang out in. Has it really been seven years since I first pre-enlisted in the DECL window, and three years since I submitted a bound copy of my thesis there? To say that I miss being a student of CAL would be a great understatement. I had great fulfillment in knowing that there was so much to learn about literature and the craft of writing, but that there was a place for me to grow and improve. It was an environment that always welcomed, and never pushed people away. There was no competition; no premium on grades, but rather on growth. It was nurturing, it was comforting. In legal jargon: it's my domicile. There is animus revertendi for certain.

At 1:05, in the sweltering heat, I felt myself incredibly nostalgic -- for the place, for friends, for the good times. I'm extremely grateful for the company I keep now; and I've grown to love the things that happened to me since I entered Malcolm. But undergrad was an incredible time. It was as a student of the College that I understood for myself what it means to be brave: in feeling and in writing. I can certainly say I wouldn't have been this brave and resilient if it wasn't for all kinds of love I got from CAL. I will always be thankful. And it will always, always be home.